View from Mount Sinai 2008
When God breaks you, when He even breaks your faith!
A message for walking through the darkness to come.
A message for walking through the darkness to come.
1 Peter 2:3-" Now that you have tasted that the Lord is good." -move onto maturity.
By God's grace there is a time for all to be childlike with the Lord, and He in this time is a joyful, and playful Father, lavishing His gifts on you, and spoiling you. What a blessed time this is for all of God's children, a time to taste, and see that the Lord is good and faithful.
I look back at a time, when all I asked for from the Lord was given. One prayer that stands out, was that of asking for 50 millimeters of rain, to support our garden through the drought, whilst traveling away. It was a childish prayer, with childish anticipation from both sides, first for myself in receiving, and then also for the Lord on delivering the answer, and so returning the joy.
My faith was simplistic, the Father would not give 40 or 60 millimeters. I believed that the rain gauge would read on our arrival, 50 millimeters exactly! Saying it, with a grin of cheeky belief. Arriving home it was confirmed, not a drop more or less, and so the game began. The Holy Spirit would tell me what to pray for, you know! Just a glimmer of thoughts, would pass through my mind while going throughout my day, and then the joy would follow to believe in it.
In the weeks that followed we again traveled away for 10 days, and without help to water the garden in the mid heat of summer, sought the Lord once more. An inner stirring spoke to my heart saying, "You will need around a half an inch every 3-4 days to keep the garden watered while away." So I prayed, "Lord, you who can open the heavens at your will, can you do this for us, for we have no other to call upon."
Two to three days had passed into visiting family, and actually I had forgotten about the garden, and the prayer, when my brother in law, who was watching the news said, "I can't believe you have had 60 millimeters of rain in your home town, but the rest of the state is dry."
Oh what joy, the Lord was revealing to me that He was keeping His end of the deal, and also holding me accountable to participation. For it was a game after all, and two need to be present to enjoy it fully. So the travel continued, and so did the Lords bringing to my attention, every time that rain fell on our land, and that He was doing everything I had imagined He could. The rain fell every 3-4 days of our being away at 50-70 millimeters each time. What a God, and what a game. Joy from both sides was felt, His and mine.
The joy of the Lord’s presence in my life at that time was so abundant and clear, and the overflow of that presence, was of course, a powerful and wonderful grace that was changing me. I had lost all worldly cares and concerns, to simply play this game with Him. His presence was so clear that He would touch me every time He wanted my attention, and I would go to be with Him. No matter where I was, I would drop it to go and pray. Actually it was worship more than prayer, for I had grin from ear to ear, and love poured out of my heart to His throne, often in times of silence, or with very little words spoken, for it was a simple time of communion. This continued 2, 3 or 4 times a day, for over a period of 2 years without ceasing, a time when all that mattered was hearing his voice and being with Him.
......
A trip to Israel, and Egypt however, brought about change. At first it was a wonderful time in God’s presence, hearing His voice, & telling the people of His mighty & wonderful ways, but it soon ended, and through to the fire I came, finding myself without being able to feel His nearness. He didn't call on me anymore, in fact the Holy presence of light that surrounded me for 2-3 years turned to a Holy darkness, you know a Holy withdrawal. Like Job said: "That which I dread the most came upon me." The only thing that mattered was hearing His voice, and doing what He wanted me to do. But now the test had come, what would I do without it?
For the following 3 years, and directly after 1 year of living in a 24 hour house of prayer in Egypt, we began to walk in a Holy cloud of darkness, I say "Holy Darkness" for it was the Lord's withdrawal that made it dark, and His will for us to walk in it, that made it Holy.
I could write forever on the events of those 3 years alone. From hail storms over our home, smashing and breaking items around the house, to wind storms as we walked along the road, turning into trees crashing at our side, as we ran for cover. Then rolling our only uninsured car, (thankfully though without any scratches on us to be seen), to banks losing our paper work, not once, but four times to the loan for a new second hand one, and work in this time being reduced to a minimal, get by only wage, (with frequent bills being over due). Yet every time I called out on the Lord, there was no answer! No money! No voice!
This of course was 3 solid years of crying out to the Lord until there was no hope, no faith, and no expectation of Him ever coming to answer a prayer again. This was a new side of the Lord we had not seen before.
Praise the Lord however, for those earlier 2 years of worship and love between us. Praise the Lord for the 1 year we were given to spend in the 24 hour house of prayer. For I had learnt some things: THAT HE WAS SO GOOD! AND ALL I WANTED WAS HIS PRESENCE AGAIN! We had also learnt to wait on Him until He came, for it was always worth it.
Even if it was for 3 years or forever, I was still going to come to Him everyday and say: "There is nothing I ask for, I no longer expect you to answer any of my prayers and I do not understand what you are doing. I only come to say I will worship you no matter what you throw at us, no matter what you take from us, no matter how far away you seem."
So this was my vigil for 3 years, every morning to come and wait on Him. The days were dark, and the prayer times long and tedious, for without the presence of the Lord we labor and toil in prayer, for there is no joy, no peace, and no grace to know even what to pray for. "I only know my Lord that I miss you, for you have captivated my heart and I am yours!"
In a strange turn of events, the Lord led us back to Egypt, and still without His presence. We entered that land, with fear and trepidation for what lay ahead, in this Holy Darkness, and now in a strange land.
We were weak spiritually, and on entering Egypt became also weak in the flesh. Weak and tired from travel, and stomach bugs from the food. On arrival however, we were asked to speak in the churches there. Remembering the last visit was initially full of His presence and miracle answering prayers, telling the people of His wonders, but this was not going to be the same. What could we say? what could we offer? our faith was gone, we no longer carried with us His presence, and no answer to help encourage the people, or build their faith. A faith that we had lost ourselves.
So once again on my knees before the Lord, and with only 2 hours before a speaking engagement. I cried out to Him with nothing more on my mind then 3 years of death to my spirit, to my pride, to my hope, and to my faith. Along with a question, how could I encourage the people, for I had nothing to encourage them with?
Of course this is just where the Lord wanted me to be, and So He began to speak for the first time in many years. I heard a voice saying in my mind and heart: "First you must admit to the people you have nothing to give. For you need to let them know you do not come with power and strength, but in brokenness." My heart was stirred-"Yes my Lord," my spirit understood the people needed to see brokenness in the those who lead them, or stand before them. But still I was confused about what to say to them, what have I to say that will encourage them? "My Lord, I know nothing, but the experience of a Holy Darkness, one where the only thing I could do is come before you each day, and hold onto your garment and wait. To tell you I would love you no matter what, that I would still come to worship you in the midst of the darkness, in the midst of the fire, even if you would not come and answer me."
So the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came to my mind. I could never understand why with such great faith they said: "The God we serve is able to save us," and then to make the comment: "But even if He does not.... we will not serve your gods," but will continue to worship HIM! (emphases added). It was clear to me now this was the lesson they had learnt also, they had faith in God who saves, and had seen and tasted that He was good, but they had learnt another kind of faith and love, one that was greater. The love that says we will love our God no matter what He does, if He gives or takes away, we will still love HIM! This was true worship, I could easily love God when He played those games with me, and answered my prayers, and gave me protection, but that was not true love. True love comes when we love Him even when He chooses not to give us anything.
"Oh, My Lord that is what the last 3 years was about! You teaching us to love you with the same knowledge as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego." For God was revealing to me as I prayed, that they had truly worshiped in Spirit & Truth, and that is the worship God is looking for especially in the last days. So the words from 2 Chronicles 32:31 -"God left him to test him and to know everything that was in his heart." Became a life line to me. He had also tested my heart for true worship.
The Lord had begun to give the message to encourage these people in the last days, many of which had spent there every waking hour worshiping the Lord God who supplies their needs and protects His people. A message that has also been emphasized in the Western Churches, but will they worship the God who takes away?
He said: "I want you to go and teach them how to hold on, to the hem of My garment. For a time is coming when it will look and feel, like I am not with my people. Days of darkness are coming, but they must hold on, for I am testing my people to see who's hearts are truly mine.”
….......
There is much to learn, and it is only the beginning for myself, and for God's people who are willing to hold on no matter what. Yet I will always be encouraged by the words of Richard Wurmbrand, a Godly man who has walked before us, and has spoken from within the prison walls in Communist Russia saying: "When God breaks you, when He breaks even your faith, remain faithlessly HIS!"
For there is no power of darkness that can come up against such worship, the kind of worship that loves and serves the Lord, even if your faith is gone to whether He will save you or not from the fire, like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, but proclaiming along with them to worship Him anyway. That will be the power of the Kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven! Where Satan will no longer be able to come before our Father in Heaven with his complaints, because Jesus has captivated our hearts, and the Father, is given the worship due His name.
SO JOIN US FOR THE LAST DAYS OF BATTLE
For "now that you have tasted that the Lord is good." -move onto maturity, for then:
1 Peter 2:4-"As you come to Him, the living Stone-rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to Him -v5 you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ."
For "now that you have tasted that the Lord is good." -
Have you been rejected by men and chosen by God to walk through the fire, where faith and love are tested, where sacrifices are given that are acceptable, a worship of spirit and truth, sacrifices of life, where all is given for His touch, for His whisper again to your ear?
This is one of the things v8: "That causes men to stumble and the rock that makes them fall." Where many will turn from God at this trial of Him turning His face from you, like He did our Lord at Calvary, and many will not be able to handle this kind of worship, this kind of message, that has been hidden in the gospel of Christ. For Christ all along has been trying to teach us, the kind of worship that is due to the Father, worship in Spirit & Truth. Worship that loves Him, not for what He can give, but simply because of who He is.
This is one of the things v8: "That causes men to stumble and the rock that makes them fall." Where many will turn from God at this trial of Him turning His face from you, like He did our Lord at Calvary, and many will not be able to handle this kind of worship, this kind of message, that has been hidden in the gospel of Christ. For Christ all along has been trying to teach us, the kind of worship that is due to the Father, worship in Spirit & Truth. Worship that loves Him, not for what He can give, but simply because of who He is.
Will He make you stumble and fall that you will give up, or will you hang onto His garment and remain His?
Even if it faithlessly HIS, it is still HIS!
HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON!
HE IS WORTHY OF OUR WORSHIP NO MATTER WHAT!
www.thewordtotheworld.com
Unlimited permission to copy and post or reprint without altering text or profit gain is hereby granted subject to credits and inclusion of this web address: http://www.thewordtotheworld.com ~ However, for items linked from other web sites and marked Copyright, you should contact the original publisher for permission to reproduce.